I’m a fan of repetition. Not really. I love to repeat myself. Nope. Yet, this scene plays itself out, in one form or another on a daily basis.
Me: Johnny! Would you like come to the kitchen and finish your (breakfast, lunch, dinner, painting, popsicle stick craft, Play-Doh creation, disaster area, etc.)
Johnny: No thanks.
Me: Okay…that wasn’t really a question. I phrased it in the form of a question in an effort to be polite and to teach you to be polite, but obviously that’s not working so get your tuches out here and (finish this meal/clean this mess up).
Johnny: Ohhhhh…kaaaay.
Boy commences dragging himself to the kitchen. Aren’t I the model mother.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
hehehe! way to go!!! i love how your boy says “No thanks” back. trying his luck. hahaha.
Ask a question, you get an answer :0)
Julie
You’re so much nicer than me. I always just told them what I expected them to do and if they hemmed and hawed, I started counting backward from 5 until they started hustling.
Only made it to zero once.
My boy just turned 7 and we have this conversation at least three times a week. You’d think he’d catch on. But alas, there are cars to push around, sisters to boss around and just about anything else to do but what he’s supposed to do.
I always tell my kids that a question like that from me is really just a polite command, and the only correct response is, “Yes ma’am.” But we’re still working on it…. (sometimes they’ll ask me if it’s really a question — or option — or not).
I remember reading somewhere that if your children do something that you’ve asked/told them to do, but it something they really wanted to do anyway, it’s not true obedience. “Go get in the car for ice cream!” vs “Go get in the car for your doctor’s appointment!”. Hmmm, I think I’m like that, too.
Ohhhhhhhhh! Is that what my mom meant when she wanted me to empty the dishwasher the other day? Now I get it….
;P
lol That reminds me of my husband and I. When I form my “questions” like that, and he answers with a “no thanks”, I complain. Then he says, “well don’t beat around the bush then with your question! Guys are straight forward and expect you to be saying what you mean to us!! Just be straight forward. don’t beat around the bush.” My response “ok” Although I usually still get the same results either way “no thanks”. pffff
ha!
When Jeff or I speak to each other like that we call it Hintspeak. Just come right out and say it.
Great description of the conversations with the young ‘uns, which then start sounding suspiciously like the conversations with our own parents as they are losing memory by the megabyte, and basically I’m realizing I could just go to Bora-Bora for 6 weeks and leave a recording of my voice here at home saying the same 5 things over and over. I don’t think anyone would really notice till the laundry piled up too high.
At least he was polite in his response!
It’s kind of funny. My husband talks that way most of the time (to the boys), but I’m more like the drill sergeant… “C’mon boys, salute and execute!”
“Would you like…?” is a question which sends the message that “Yes, please,” and “No, thank you” are equally acceptable answers. My recommendation (not that you asked) would be to state the principle: “We keep the kitchen table clear so it is ready for the next meal or activity. When you get up from the table, please make sure that it’s clean.” then inform him when he’s not met the standard: “Johnny, the table isn’t ready for (school, games, lunch). Please take care of it now.”